i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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