She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So squirting runs in the family.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
