I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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