When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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