I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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