all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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