You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
