Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
