sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
