you guys were way drunker than both of me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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