Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
