bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
