moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
