I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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