exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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