I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Semen is not good for contacts.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
