That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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