I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
