i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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