i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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