Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
