So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
