Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
