I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
