Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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