Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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