Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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