Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
