OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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