East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
handjob tips. give me some.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
