sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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