you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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