It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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