Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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