It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Text me some of your sweat
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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