There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
