I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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