I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
