Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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