yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize