I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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