how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
