the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
