My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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