Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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