Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize