garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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