the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
