Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
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did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize