If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
