Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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