If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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