Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
