Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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