I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My dick has a subreddit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize