There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize