Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
