I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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