WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
