found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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