No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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