I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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