I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
