wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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