For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize