You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
