I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
