He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Never underestimate the power of titties
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize