Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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