Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
