Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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